Sunday, June 23, 2013

It's so hard to say good bye to yesterday

Well, it's been a while since I've posted anything on here but I just haven't had anything happen to me or in my life to write about. You see, because of fucking MD my health has gone down the shitter faster than a babyruth turd in a industrial strength toilet!  So because of my poor health I've not been able to do much of anything. My life consist of sitting in a recliner 24/7 only to get up for a shower when I actually have the energy to do so. It's so bad now that I can't even go shit on my own. I am so weak that I just have to shit in a bed pan. Talk about taking any bit of self pride that I may have had, that all has been stripped away now!  Everything is just FUBAR in my life now. I have a vehicle that hasn't been drove in so long that the battery is dead just from sitting.

I actually tried to do something fun over this past weekend and had bought VIP tickets to a concert festival in my hometown. Well I went Friday night and was only out for about 7 hours and it messed me up so bad that I couldn't even wake up until almost 7pm the next day. Talk about being pissed and upset all at once.

Anyways, because of how shitty my life has become I'm just not sure I want to keep fighting and trying to be happy because I'm not. I'm miserably depressed. On top of just physically hurting constantly and not having and energy, I still hurt emotionally. I've wanted to have a significant other in my life for years now. Someone to actually love me, be here with me through everything and heck someone to just have amazing crazy sex with. Believe it or not my dick still gets hard and I like sex as much as any man so it sucks that I can't find anyone. Especially now since I'm basically a prisoner in my own home. On top of all of this my best friend is moving several hours away and I will never get to see her much. It's hard for her to come see me now and she is only an hour away so I'm really bummed.

With saying all of this I'm sorry for the depressing post. I figure this will be my last post I ever make since I doubt anything amazing funny will happen to me just sitting here and sleeping 15-18 hours a day. I've decided that I'm giving up and so I'm just going to keep myself highly medicated and hopefully I will just fall asleep soon and just not wake back up.

Goodbye, Tim