Monday, November 19, 2012


With thanksgiving coming up I like Meg have been seeing tons of fb post about daily thanks for the month of November. Usually all very generic stuff like god, family, kids, etc..  That's all find and dandy but if you're truly thankful for any of these things then why only wait till November to say it?   Suppose I'm sort of an outsider when it comes to holidays because as much as I have to be thankful for I don't need a holiday to tell me when to express my thanks. For example, this year has been one of the hardest of my life health wise, but I've tried to say how thankful I've been anytime I think of it. Same as with my friends and family, I don't wait till thanksgiving or valentines day just to say thanks or I love you. I'm even thankful for Meg even though she calls me a demented bumpkin. Which, by the way meg, in all your rant you still dint answer my question about how it's ok for all to be misleading until you get what you want?  If you want to look like a gorilla with its head split open like an ax be my guest but do it ALL the time. Don't act like something you're not! I still love ya though!!!

I can say that this thanksgiving and Christmas is a little more special to me that most just for the fact that I'm not even suppose to be here. It was almost a year ago when I was last hospitalized and told I wasn't going to make it. I had quit breathing and basically was sent home to die. I'm not well by any means but I'm still here and still have so many things I want to go see and do before my time is up. So let me just sayin thankful for all my friends who believe in me and have been there for me no matter what, especially Meg and Beard. Thankful for my mom and stepdad for making life sacrifices to make sure I am taken care of every single day. Thankful for all the little prayers, thoughts, well wishes, voodoo spells, or just any good vibes that were sent my way.

In a strange way I'm thankful for having the personality I have and thankful for the friends who made me feel this way. Not many guys in wheelchair with the condition I have can say they been through life wide open like me. Everything from wrecking face first off a curb in Nashville to buying a hooker in Vegas to late nights at the bars every weekend with friends and so much more. I just hope that I've inspired at least one person that just because we might not be perfect doesn't mean life can't go on

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

I say "fuck." A lot.

This isn't a real post. It is a series of rants. Which is pretty common for me. 

First off, Tim, why the incessant bitching about how every woman should conform to your standards? You need to learn to embrace everyone's differences. The fact that not everyone is a demented bumpkin like you is a good thing. Also, if I want to walk around like a midget Sasquatch, you don't have to look at my harry ass. I'm not living for you. I'm living along side you. 

I also have an informal comment to all the poseurs on FB and their days of thanks. You aren't thankful for God and friends and family. You are thankful that I haven't called you a crack whore in public. You are really a crack whore though. Sorry. The truth hurts, Bitch. 

I was talking to a friend about how she needs to "Jew someone down." Now, I totally get the slur in that term, but I'm horrible at being PC. On the flip side, I've seen people try so hard to be "for equality" that they stumble across words out of fear of saying something wrong. Well, that is more insulting. If you have to try so hard to not be a bigot, then you're a fucking bigot. The beauty in the fact that everyone is different means we are all the same. We are similar because we are different. Quit worrying about noticing the differences and you won't have to shield how a "different" person will perceive you. 

I think I'm done for now. At least that's all I can think of. I'm sure there will be more later. BOLO!

Your bitchy Meg

Friday, November 9, 2012

Hair today, gone tomorrow

I was told the other day that it is "no shave" November and all me were encouraged not to shave for the entire month in honor of some sort of cancer. I have no idea if this is true or not and haven't even googled it to see. Honestly I don't care either way since I've been growing my beard for over 2 months already. The problem I have is I've seen some girls post saying they were also wanting to take part and if the men were allowed to they should be able to as well. This just pisses me off more that a horny quad who can't jack off to solve the problem. Women with hair on them anywhere but their head is just nasty!  For a woman to want to say she doesn't want to shave is just a sign of either a lazy or nasty girl. Body hair is a sign of manhood. It's a sign of the male testosterone and a women should want to appear as feminine as possible. This means keeping the legs, and poon or fupa for most girls smooth. Also some women need to shave the arms. I'm sorry if you were born with more hair than others. So what, just means you have to shave more. It won't kill ya!  And as for women with facial hair, if you have it and aren't doing something to be getting rid of it then your just wrong!  I don't care if you don't wanna shave it, they got lasers now for that shit. Get if fried off so you look like a girl and not a unibrowed bearded woman with sideburns!

Now let me take it a step further. This next step really pisses me off and should any man encounter it they need to put and end ASAP!  This is the woman manipulation trick. I've seen it done several times and its one of the dirtiest plays in the woman's play book. This is when the girl is single and decides she is ready to start dating and meet a new man. So she goes and does the full body shave, I'm talking head to toe slick beaver and all. Wears some sexy thongs with even MATCHING bras. We all know this never happens in real like most of the time. So say you're a dude and you meet said girl and y'all hook up. Well based on first impression you are thinking you've scored a winner. You've got a hot girl, clean shaved, wears thongs and even matches the bra. So you call her back and start going out more and more. Suddenly once you're attached the bomb gets dropped. You come home one day and the vag looks like George W under a pair of cotton granny panties with a bra that she has been wearing for 3 weeks straight. Now this is not what you signed up for. This is not why you came back the first few times, yet now if you say something to the girl she goes off about how it's not fair that we as men can be hairy but expect them as women to shave. Well duh!!  Most of all is we don't deserve to be lied too and manipulated. If you're a nasty ass hairy poon then don't try to hide it just to fool a guy.

I'm sure I have a moral to this story some where but for now I just wanted to rant. More men need to step up and be the dictator that we are made to be (remember we have the dicks) and take control of these out of control hairy women

Saturday, November 3, 2012

The ugly side of retirement

It's been a while since I've wrote on here. Partily because nothing that funny or great has happened to me to tell about and partly because I've been really sick at times to even think of funny shit to write. Anyways, retirement can cause the ugly side of a man to come out. I mean this is a very real way!  Since I no longer work I have not trimmed my beard in 4 months, got my lip pierced, and got my arm almost fully sleeved with old school style designs. Just picture this in your head. A fat guy in a wheelchair with a scruffy nappy beard with a lip ring barely visible because of the beard and a huge tattoo of a half naked woman holding guns and more guns on the other side and a ribbon that says "momma's boy". I know what you're thinking, this guy is a hot mess right?  Well this is what happens when you have no one to impress anymore. Since I no longer work and I've decided I'm never going to find a good woman, I have no reason to worry with how I look.

Totally different topic now but I've had several people who haved asked what makes me the gimp that I am. I really wish I had some badass story such as I was a vet in war and survived a bomb blast or that I was some extreme athlete who got hurt doing what I loved but in all reality I've been disabled all my life so I don't really know what being truly able bodied is all about. I was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy when I was 4 years old. For the first few years of life it wasn't that noticeable. I could never run as fast as the other kids and was always a little weaker and slower in any sports or physical activities in school. I stilled played basketball and baseball from 2nd-6th grade, but I was WAY slower at running and very weak at swinging the bat or shooting the ball. I didn't realize it at the time but looking back now this was probably some of the most important steps in my life that my mom pushed me to do. Once I entered high school in 7th grade I joined the marching band and stayed in it till I graduated. These were some very tough years in my life. I started to show more signs of weakness and because I knew I was different I tried to fit in with all the groups in school. This led me to getting into trouble and getting arrested at just 15 years old.  By the time I graduated I had really started to develop a very noticeable limp in my walk and my posture was so bad that my rib cage stuck out and made me look like I had tits. The harassment and cruelty I received on a daily basis towards the end of high school and up to the next 2 years later had led me to hate life. I basically became a hermit and did nothing but go to work and come home and sit in my room.  I was ashamed of my life and hated everything about it. I never fit in with any of the "cool" groups in school and felt like I didn't fit into society at all after I graduated. I hated life, was ashamed of my looks and my disability, was so shy I never even dated because I never could meet one (I still struggle with the girl thing to this day). By this point you're all probably either feeling bad for me or thinking I need to just get over it. Well, with the help of one very awesome friend I got over it for sure. It wasn't all by choice but I am the person I am today thanks to this one person. I don't want to put his name on here so i will just call him Beard. Beard and I have been best friends since we were 4 years old and met in head start. We played pee wee basketball together and remained friends kind of on and off through high school. After high school beard went off to college and this is when I had become a hermit and basically hit rock bottom. I was fired from my job and had nothing to look forward to in life. I was so embarrassed about my disability that I didn't dare go out in public for fear of being made fun of or worse. Well Beard had got into some trouble while off at college so he moved back home to get away from all of that. He wanted to keep going to school though and decided that I should go with him. How he convinced me to sign up I will never know, but it was the start of a whole new life for me.

So Beard and I start attending community college in January of 2001 and man what a change it was. Beard knew I had these problems and he decided to take it upon himself to fix me. It was bad enough that I was now going out in public around thousands of people close to my age and felt like they were all looking at me but Beard though I needed more attention. From then on he tried to embarrass me in every way possible. From making fart noises and blaming me, running outside towards me calling my name like a retard, just saying off the wall shit to any girl who sat by us and so on. If he though it would bother me he would do it. It is because of all the harassment from him that I finally realized that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of me and that I needed to be ok with who I was. A couple years later I went to a wheelchair full time and never slowed down or looked back on life. I have made some of the best friends a guy could have and got out and done anything I wanted to. The only thing that he didn't help with and even to this day I still struggle is with girls. I freeze up and just shut down inside. Eventually I'm cool with them if they talk to me,but I've never been able to pursue a girl for say dating. Usually I become the nice friend that they all don't wanna hurt.

Well I think I've went off on about three different subjects, but most of this has been typed while under the influence of lots of pain meds so you will have to forgive me

Your awesome gimp,