Sunday, September 23, 2012


My daughter's birthday was this weekend and we had a big family gathering at the Music Midtown festival in Atlanta. She was hoping to get to meet Eddie Vedder but it's probably for the best that she didn't. I think we will save that for her eleventh birthday. She needs something to look forward to. 

The first night we stayed with one of my all time BFFs and her hubby and kids. It was marvelous. Nothing traumatic happened. Except that we colored my hair. That's always traumatic. Or dramatic. Probably both. 

In the time it took to drive from my friend's on Saturday to the point that we picked up my cousin, mother, and nieces, I had an epiphany. When I was talking to Yel, I came up with an ingenious, albeit disgusting, way to have men all over women. 

This is the female version of Matt Dillon's faux pas in There's Something About Mary. When a girl is going out, and she needs to relieve some stress before, she should try manual pleasure. 

After she finishes, her moisture can be used as hair gel. That part isn't original, but I swear to you that this idea makes perfect sense. You see, the "hair gel" will contain pheromones. It will be a subliminal message a chick can send. 

She will be giving out the silent message of "yeah, you know you want me." but she won't have to act all slutty or get drunk or dress like a hooker. She will just casually stand near a man she finds attractive and bam! It's like witchcraft but better because no chanting is involved. Or she could chant. Whatever works. 

Let me know if you've tried this. If it works, I'd like to get some royalties off of your pussy juice. 

Distastefully yours,


  1. LMAO!!!! Yes, I would love to hear testimonials - Yel

  2. Dear Meg, I was web surfin half a year ago when I found this post and took its advice to heart. I immediately got reactions and I have been using it on every date since. At the bar sometimes I don't even say anything and the men are lost for words. They can only stand there and stare at me with their jaws hanging with drool.
    BUT I've found it works better if you don't tell them it's pussy juice, these days I just say it's my conditioner and they believe it!
    AND Make sure they don't touch your hair until the deed is in process, because it gets quite brittle.

    I've been meaning to post and say thanks but I've been busy, if you know what I mean.

  3. To Anon:

    I'm very glad to hear that you've had positive results. I may be trying out my own advice soon. I'll keep you updated!