L I B...

That is a very southern version of another probably southern term. "Well, I'll be..." is probably what you were thinking when you saw a new post. Maybe not exactly "well, I'll be" but probably some other form of it.  And I agree.  I have been gone for sooo long, and I have so much to share.  I can't put it all here, though, because most of it is unrelated and trying to put all of that into one post will just make you want to gouge out yours eyes.

However, first things first.  Please forgive me. I would say I was away doing things typical Southern Belles do, but anyone that knows me would call bullshit and I really hate liars.  I was busy, though.

I went to my great-grandfather's funeral and was stung by a bee. At his funeral. I have bad luck. My niece came and stayed for a while then I traded her for another niece. I was promoted to supervisor which is the dumbest thing any employer should ever do. I went on vacation. And the other half of this dangerous duo is sick. Again.

Whew, that wasn't so hard. Maybe congress should hire me to shorten their convoluted proposals so maybe one will get passed once in a while.  There were a lot more other insignificant activities here and there, but that is the gist of my absence.

My new job:  I was promoted to supervisor. It is possibly temporary. But everything is temporary where I work, so who knows. What I do know is that I have seven minions under me. That is seven employees who rely on me to shape their minds and do their annual appraisals. Yeah, they are doomed.

I am working in a new office where only about half of the people knew me before I came, and even less of them knew anything personal about me.  I prefer to keep it that way.  I prefer to be mysterious. Ok. I'm lying. I'm really an open book, and very very loud and talkative.  And apparently my reputation precedes me because one of the newest employees in the office is on my team and she said "I heard you speak your mind."

My response to her is a prime example of why I should never be a leader. Of any kind. I set a bad, very sarcastic example. But I said to her, "show me an auditor without an opinion, and I'll let you pet my unicorn." Now, "unicorn" was not a euphemism for anything. At all. So keep your minds out of the gutter.  However, this was supposed to teach her that as an auditor, I'm essentially paid to have an opinion. And since I've been opinionated (unrightfully so) my entire life, this job is essentially perfect for me. The second best option would have been to study law. And I hate Latin, so that was out of the question.

There have been other conversations with new hires, and other auditors, that have led me to believe that either I'm perfect for a supervisory position, or I'm so wrong for the position, they may just keep me there on a permanent basis.  Only time will tell.

Tim: We haven't spoken much of what has caused him to be a gimp, and I don't want to go into a lot of detail, because I was hoping he would write about that for himself. But, he has an infection in his lungs again, and this never turns out great.  Usually it leaves him weak, and tired, and very, very sleepy for weeks on end. It almost seems that he never recovers 100 percent either.

But this time is different.  This time, we don't have to rush to the hospital and stay there for days on end. This time, he gets to stay home and use the aide of nurses that come to his rescue any time he needs them.  This time, he gets to sleep in his own bed. In his own PJs. Watch his own TV.

What I want us all to do, what I request you to do, say a little prayer for him. For his family. For his friends.  Now, Tim will say that he is Atheist and not to pray for him.  What he doesn't understand is that you don't have to pray to God. You can pray to Gaia. Mother Earth. The Cookie Monster. You don't have to be religious to pray. You don't have to be religious to be spiritual. Just please do it. Pray and wish peace and health on not just Tim, but peace and health for anyone that you know is in turmoil. Anyone that isn't. Anyone that deserves your well wishes.

Thank you.

Your Not-So-Southern-Belle,
Meg

P.S. Next time, I will report on limps and shrimps.  You have been warned.